Where's the damn controller?

I reckon people's lives can be summed up by a few over-arching concepts that hide under the surface. So intricately entwined with all of our moods, decisions, problems, perceptions that it's difficult to directly access them. One of these concepts is control; the extent to which we feel in control of our path through life.

Control has a value in a very real sense. The more you have of it, the more you can barter and trade. An example of the trade idea is experienced commonly across the world and history in subservience. Servants will trade their control (in the form of freedom of time and action) in order to receive the pay and often-times protection of an employer. Come to think of it, that's sort of the idea of any job. A more extreme example comes under sexual dominance and submission. A person may trade their control in exchange for an exciting feeling of helplessness and a show of trust to their partner.

I've spend a little while unsuccessfully trying to type out the scope of the control economy. Parents have control over children, employers over employees, teachers over students; but it can equally be reversed in each example. Children on a bus playing music loudly have control over the annoyed adults sitting nearby who are tightly bound by law and convention not to say anything let alone physically intervene. Law and bureaucracy itself has control over everyone, even though it is but a system of rules. With such a complex issue, examples are everywhere.

Think about occasions where you have acquired or lost control. You've been flirting with someone the previous evening and you gave them your phone number. Now you're feeling a little nervous. You reached out and took a chance, you've got no control over whether that person phones you the next day. Ah! But s/he does. S/he was interested and gives you a call. Now the ball is back in your court and you feel great. The person asks you out; now you have the control in the form of a hasty 'Yes!' or a solemn 'Oh...no." (Anyone who has ever said no to a person probably knows it doesn't feel that good. Control does not equal happiness all the time.)

You've been feeling down about something. You've kept it well hidden and managed to keep a convincing smile, but now you're out with a friend, and s/he has given you a natural segway in conversation to open up. Do you retain control by keeping the information limited to yourself, or do you tell him/her and experience that moment of anxiety as you wait to see how they react to your secret?

You've been sitting in your house for weeks bored out of your mind and wishing someone would come along and invite you to something exciting. You've got no control over this situation. Conversely, you're very popular and are feeling a little bored, so you look at your phone book and decide who to ask out. Control control control.

Control is like money: It's useless but for its applications or its exchange value; those with less of it value it more; and the more control you have, the faster you acquire more.


I figure it might help to think about things in that context from time to time. It certainly simplifies things.